How does one's light die? (Personal Essay)

One of the strangest things happened to me earlier. I don’t know how to explain it. I have no words to describe it.

It’s something like a rocket that immobilizes you in just a blink of an eye. Just like a sting of a bee that paralyzes you a little and makes you feel not totally but, numb. I don’t know, the lights must have caused it.

The lights, these flickering, bright lights selling themselves on the streets as if they’re brighter than the stars above. But I stared at them; I bought they’re deceiving act to catch my distracted attention. And when I try to focus a little, I realized that these lights resemble humans.

There are certain lights inside each of us. It flickers, grows brighter when it get notice, much more when appreciated. But only to die a little when criticized, pressurized, misjudged. People kill another’s light for the purpose of making their own lights brighter without realizing that it won’t get even whatever they do. You kill the lights of others, and others kill your light, too. Every single day, one of your lights went out. They die slowly, slowly until your physical body starts dying, too.

And so I closed my eyes, walked on the streets with headphones on. Imagine how would it feel if I get hit by a car. Would it be painful just like the death of my own lights?